It is almost impos\u00adsi\u00adble to explain why and when some\u00adbody becomes a film\u00admak\u00ader. Usu\u00adal\u00adly it hap\u00adpens ran\u00addom\u00adly, and depends on the per\u00adson. It is as unpre\u00addictable as an acci\u00addent, unstop\u00adpable and unlearn\u00adable. \u201cMoments of learn\u00ading\u201d nev\u00ader stop. Some\u00adtimes you come to under\u00adstand some\u00adthing because you were con\u00adfront\u00aded with your own stu\u00adpid\u00adi\u00adty. And some\u00adtimes you need a lit\u00adtle help from out\u00adside. In 1975, I shot an ama\u00adteur film on an 8\u2011mm cam\u00adera. My social activ\u00adi\u00adties put me in con\u00adtact with a home\u00adless fam\u00adi\u00adly that had one child, and we became friends. They were squat\u00adting in the top floor of an emp\u00adty build\u00ading in a run-down area out\u00adside of town. The order to vacate the premis\u00ades came only a few days lat\u00ader. In my out\u00adrage at the sit\u00adu\u00ada\u00adtion (which I still feel today), I decid\u00aded to at least doc\u00adu\u00adment our shared sense of pow\u00ader\u00adless\u00adness.<\/p>\n
And so, on a beau\u00adti\u00adful sum\u00admer\u2019s morn\u00ading, we wait\u00aded for the author\u00adi\u00adties to come. Two offi\u00adcials showed up along with fur\u00adni\u00adture movers, six police offi\u00adcers and a growl\u00ading dog. The child was afraid of the dog and hid behind his moth\u00ader. The par\u00adents looked pale as they held on to one anoth\u00ader, and I held up my Sovi\u00adet-era cam\u00adera in defi\u00adance. The next thing I saw as I looked through the viewfind\u00ader was a big hand that cov\u00adered the lens. They tore the cam\u00adera out of my hands and took me away to the near\u00adest police sta\u00adtion. As they dragged me away, I saw how the police yelled at my friends and pushed them aside in order to get into the flat and start the evic\u00adtion.<\/p>\n
I remem\u00adber the police sta\u00adtion very well: plas\u00adtic-cov\u00adered walls, steel chairs, the Hun\u00adgar\u00adi\u00adan Peo\u00adple\u2019s Repub\u00adlic seal behind glass and a sheet of press board used as a table. On the table was my cam\u00adera, a present from my father on my four\u00adteenth birth\u00adday. They had tak\u00aden the film out, but at least the cam\u00adera was still there\u2026 But between me and the cam\u00adera was an impass\u00adable bar\u00adri\u00ader: a huge police\u00adman \u2013 huge to me, at least \u2013 who was there to keep watch of me. The weath\u00ader that day was was a lit\u00adtle too hot for the police\u00adman. He scratched his stub\u00adbly chin and scowled down at small, skin\u00adny me. Every now and then he impa\u00adtient\u00adly ran his hand through his oily, frizzy hair. Drops of sweat were soaked up by his col\u00adlar and trick\u00adled down\u00adwards behind his tie. All of the sud\u00adden he grunt\u00aded, went over to the win\u00addow and opened it. The result was ter\u00adri\u00adble: through the bars there came a rush of bru\u00adtal\u00adly hot air \u2013 and thou\u00adsands of flies. He sat back down next to the cam\u00adera and start\u00aded hit\u00adting the table with his fist as if he were try\u00ading to get the flies. His neck mus\u00adcles stood out, his pupils grew larg\u00ader and he seemed to be shak\u00ading with rage. If looks could kill, I would not be here today. Next he turned on the radio to hear the news. Even\u00adtu\u00adal\u00adly he had enough and turned it off. I think he did\u00adn\u2019t have the nerve to hear the weath\u00ader fore\u00adcast. He leaned back in his chair and wiped the sweat from his neck in utter mis\u00adery. That was when I began to under\u00adstand: I was sit\u00adting in front of two hun\u00addred and forty pounds of mis\u00adery. It was this thought that made the threat seem small\u00ader and small\u00ader. I pic\u00adtured his wife and chil\u00addren. His gar\u00adden with a cheap cor\u00adru\u00adgat\u00aded iron fence and a pig sty with a pig they could slaugh\u00adter for a par\u00adty in Feb\u00adru\u00adary.<\/p>\n
His col\u00adleagues final\u00adly returned seem\u00ading very pleased with the work they had done: a suc\u00adcess\u00adful evic\u00adtion. They weren\u2019t inter\u00adest\u00aded in me and my cam\u00adera. My guard left imme\u00addi\u00adate\u00adly. One of them looked over at me, shoved my cam\u00adera into my hands and threw me out of the Mosoly street police sta\u00adtion with a brief: \u201cGet out of here!\u201d<\/p>\n
I can still see the fam\u00adi\u00adly sit\u00adting togeth\u00ader on their fur\u00adni\u00adture in the bar\u00adracks\u2019 court\u00adyard: the child cling\u00ading to his ted\u00addy bear in tears and the par\u00adents glow\u00ader\u00ading at me as if I had aban\u00addoned them, because I did\u00adn\u2019t help them at the crit\u00adi\u00adcal moment. And that was because of the sil\u00adly idea to film it all\u2026
\nIn the end, they were prob\u00ada\u00adbly right to feel that way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It is almost impos\u00adsi\u00adble to explain why and when some\u00adbody becomes a film\u00admak\u00ader. Usu\u00adal\u00adly it hap\u00adpens ran\u00addom\u00adly, and depends on the per\u00adson. It is as unpre\u00addictable as an acci\u00addent, unstop\u00adpable and unlearn\u00adable. \u201cMoments of learn\u00ading\u201d nev\u00ader stop. Some\u00adtimes you come to under\u00adstand some\u00adthing because you were con\u00adfront\u00aded with your own stu\u00adpid\u00adi\u00adty. And some\u00adtimes you need [\u2026]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":4579,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"wp_typography_post_enhancements_disabled":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[82],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3530","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-journal-en"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n